You love your spouse very much, but you've found that you've been drifting apart. Despite asking them to spend time with you or to come home earlier, they've ignored you. You asked for counseling, and they said they wouldn't attend.
This is no way to live, and you know that you're going to need to move on. You've done what you can to try to make things work, but your spouse just isn't willing to work things out.
Before you file for divorce, you'll want to talk to your attorney about spousal support, child custody (if you have children) and property division. California has fair laws, but it's important that you understand where you'll stand financially and what steps you'll need to take to protect yourself.
On the topic of spousal support, remember that you are not automatically entitled to it. You should take some time to work out a budget and decide if you need spousal support. If so, you should ask for it. Usually, California's laws allow an individual to seek support for half of the number of years that they were married. So, if you were married for 20 years, you could technically ask for up to 10 years of support.
There are many factors that impact a spousal support case, such as the debt and property you own, the tax impact on you and your spouse and if you're able to maintain your current standard of living when you live on your own. These are just a few of many factors that a judge would consider.
Spousal support can be a tough topic to talk about with your spouse, which is why it's smart to work out a divorce plan with your attorney before filing. When you file, you want everything to be ready to go, so you know what you want and need in the future.