You and your kids are close, but you know that they're close with their father, too. You and their father are separated and going to go through a divorce, so you have a temporary custody arrangement in place.
Over the last few weeks, you've found that this arrangement really doesn't work for you. You've missed work, had to rush around just to make sure your kids were picked up or not waiting too long for you after school. You can't concentrate on what you need to do, because the schedule isn't good for the other responsibilities that you have.
You're making it work right now, but you need to get a better schedule in place. Your spouse, on the other hand, believes that the schedule is perfect. What should you do? Is it fair to keep stressing yourself out when there could be other arrangements made?
You deserve the opportunity to negotiate a better schedule
Needing a different schedule so that you can work and earn or take care of responsibilities other than your children is not an unfair request. It's unreasonable for anyone to think that you can drop everything for your children, especially if it's making it impossible for you to work or putting your source of income on the line. Wanting a change in the hours you have custody isn't the same as saying that you want to give up your responsibility, it just means that you need an adjustment to make sure you can be there when you're needed.
Here's an example. If you get off work at 3 p.m. and it takes a half-hour to drive to your child's school, you would be in a difficult situation if you had to be at your child's school at 3 p.m. to pick them up. You and your spouse should talk about other options, like choosing an afterschool program or daycare to take over caring for your child for that overlap.
Similarly, if you have to leave for work at 7 a.m., it may not make sense to have custody of your child in the morning when they go to school at 8:30 a.m. That timing might make it hard to get them to the school or on the bus, since you can't be home without being late for work.
If you need an alternative schedule from what you're working with now, it's important to say so. Your children deserve support from both parents and should be on a schedule that makes sense for all involved.